07 July 2012

Love?


"When you meet somebody and you just get that feeling like you've known them forever. And they're definitely a part of your life and you can't imagine life without them and you want to be with them every minute of everyday and share everything with them, That's love."

 - Paper Heart, 2009

Michael Cera


06 July 2012

In the Pursuit of Love

Arriving home from a chatter filled evening with my "Quiricada" girls - a sort-of three-girl therapy session where we shamelessly become possessed with the gift of tongues and semi-truths and coach each other through our personal dark ages into our individual epiphanic renaissances, I am filled with awe and excitement as one of the girls have taken a route not so commonly taken - in the pursuit of love.

In a seemingly desperate fit to win back the man she thought to have lost years back, she spontaneously booked a ticket for a flight tomorrow to meet him - without plans, without any guarantees - just that adrenaline pumped leap of faith that things will work out. Que Sera Sera.

He had come back from another country a few days back and what she initially planned to be a very direct and innocent confrontation between the two ex-lovers have quickly blossomed into a whirlwind adventure that stands without the conventional foundations of a concrete boy-girl relationship. He had come here without the intention of seeing her, and I guess, with how things have progressed, he too, was taking his chances of seeing how things could work out the second time around.

A day after his arrival, he flew to the province to visit his family (this, he re-booked, to stay one day in Manila to spend it with her). And although they were beginning to get cozy with each other like the "good old days", minor misunderstandings have begun to rise and with the kitchen unintentionally getting a little hotter - temper wise, she decided to make the stand and try to win him back.

Friend:  "Do you think it low of me to do such a thing?"
Kat: "Not at all. You are following your heart. If he is worth all the hassle, then go ahead." 
Friend: "Won't that scare him?"
Kat: "It shouldn't. And it's not really about him entirely. At least, if things didn't work out (*knock on wood), you can say that you did everything you can to win him back."


When you love someone, you fight for them. You stand up for them. You take that leap of faith for them. Even in the bleakest of times, when all hope seems to have diminished, I believe that even a hint of initiative can bring down a dam full of pent-up emotions. I admire people who can valiantly pursue their love. Take on that adventure. Live without the regret that they never did enough. Live without the regret of what if's and shoulda woulda coulda's. Do what I can't seem to do for myself.

04 July 2012

Happiness


It is common advice,
Do what would make you happy.

And if I did..
I might be struggling with infamy
Or have already been shot dead with my blood watering the pavement
Light headed and blindly high on some drug-like euphoria
Brought about by a temporary perception of happiness.

My heart pounding wildly
In ecstatic revelation of a new discovery
My blood fat with glorious indulgences
Filling every inch of me with that experience.

If I did what would make me happy,
Will I really end up happy?

Then again,
I may end up feeling like a heap of shards
Prometheus-ly incarnating back into a fragile decor
Only to fall back
Down down down
And cracking into little pieces of worthless value.

Do what would make you happy.

"Happiness is over-rated."

July 3rd

July 3.

It feels like the world has abandoned me.