30 June 2010


A true lover of words, William Shakespeare has, for many years now, utterly impressed me with his poetry. Sensible thoughts penned down so fluidly that his words can run down my tongue like a free flowing stream. The brief moments that his lyrical prose touches my lips, there is an evanescent peace and conviction in my mind.

Love has always been a curious topic - a favorite for many. I doubt there can ever be anything done without a purpose driven by love. Even in one's most forlorn instances, there is a grip that fastens us to the things we hold dear, to fight and defend despite the loss of all possible victory.

A few days earlier, I have debated with myself with regards to this capricious feeling. Apparently love does not always manifest as that soft tingling murmur at the bottom of your stomach, or as that whirlwind dizzy phase of obsession. It may begin as so, but eventually it evolves to exist even without response, without expectations - at times, I daresay, it evolves into a sense of duty and responsibility that it intermingles with our daily lives almost unnoticed out of habit. It no longer dictates, but compromises and understands.

There is much more swimming in my mind that I do not find words to write here. Perhaps I shall divulge more in some other circumstance. But, let me conclude this post with a sonnet from Shakespeare that I've just encountered. Perhaps it may aid in my search for meaning.


Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

29 June 2010

A Brief Rigmarole

My strength and intellect find themselves slowly being eaten away by my day-to-day regimens without any form of enriching or improving the current state of my mind. None of my activities so far can come as close as to compare with my university years of daily discourse with fine minds and learned texts, my confident strides in achieving what I wish to accomplish, my haughty assurance in defending what I stand for.

Sitting across this flat screen of white, I am faced with a blankness of thoughts, a great chasm within my mind - I am at a loss of anything witty to say, of anything that is product of profound thought and meditation - such a luxury it is to have time to sit quietly and ponder relentlessly of life and its many branches; or to have an equally mindful companion with a parallel desire to broaden his perceptions on philosophical and intangible wealth. Such that the two of you can throw arguments at each other hoping one can return it with an anti-thesis to create a completely new concept worth further pondering upon.

And yet, when placed in such an occasion, challenged to be mentally able and quick witted, I find myself struggling helplessly to defend my side. It seems as if my points have turned into ideas that are far too complex to be articulated. My brain hangs in an almost non-functioning manner, and I would escape by gushing towards another topic. An exceedingly embarrassing show of my lack of practice in discourse.

I wonder if I can recapture myself in days of old, when my tongue loses tact and becomes wild with raging thoughts and fingers never sore from keying down all my defenses. My mind has grown placid - a kind of peaceful stagnancy that I fear must not be tolerated for a long period of time, or fear that I may forever be stuck in this pit of blindness.

Rekindling my love for books, I pray my inanity and simple mindedness would dissipate and in its place stand once again, my lucid, well-formed opinions.

I do not deny that in the course of my life, my pride in my intellect have won me many enemies and my lack of diplomacy has chained me to many unflattering memories, and yet - these are the things I hold dearly.

Should this state continue on, I fear that I would eventually be a ghost, of no significant opinion of anything, wandering mindlessly without a goal. I always believe this is merely a phase in my life, and I hope this is true. I desire my life to become something more than what it stands today, it does not represent much, it does not encapsulate much of what I had hope it to be.. But then, life must be taken a step at a time.

My friend, Rachel, had posted this in Facebook a few minutes ago and I loved the song enough to post it here.

I just feel so lonely. and empty... I wish you can understand me.

27 June 2010

A Quick Trip to Tagaytay

After a week of exasperating work, a deflated morale and a sinking feeling caused by my quarter life crisis, I couldn't be happier when Leo invited me to join a group of friends to have dinner at Tagaytay. I needed something to break the quickly developing monotony of my daily routines - I needed a breather that could at least, briefly, sweep me away from the heaviness of Manila life. The idea of a Tagaytay dinner sounded completely refreshing, that I grabbed the opportunity as swiftly as it came.

According to plan, Leo was supposed to pick me up from work at 6 yesterday (June 26), but due to the rainfall, the rendezvous time was delayed. He came over past 7 with Liza, and we drove to Makati to pick up Berns. We were only four. We then proceeded to South Super Highway - getting out at Sta. Rosa exit and going straight until, after an hour later, we arrived at Tagaytay.

We were choosing between two restaurants - either Leslie's or Josephine's; eventually we settled for Leslie's. Dad told me that food there is good, and I was curious to try it out. He had informed me that Tagaytay is known for its sweet, fresh vegetables and beef products. At Leslie's, a must try would have to be their Bulalo.

So here we were, the girls, Liza, myself and Berns posing for Leo at the bridge entrance of Leslie's

Tagaytay is famous for its breath-taking view of the Taal volcano. Although it was night time, we still had a good view of the said volcano under the clear navy gray sky. Sitting there with the cool atmosphere enveloping me, I can only wish I could be there with someone special and watch the twinkling dots of electrical lights play at the bottom of the cliff, watch the blurry silhouette of the Taal volcano at a distance as the moon quietly floats above bringing a shy, mystical illumination of everything it's light touches.

Oddly, the photo below made me think of B.o.B's song, Airplanes.

"Can we pretend that airplanes
In the night sky
Are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now"

I could really use a wish right now. But that curve wasn't a shooting star nor was it an airplane. It was a moth.

The moths were crazy that night. As the photo below illustrates, the moths crowded together where there is light (usually happens after a rain, they say). And although in the picture, they may appear like snow falling in the background, I honestly don't think they added anything positive to the eating ambiance. I'll explain this later.
Leslie's closed the lights inside the mess hall, the only ones left open were those outside. I grabbed the chance and borrowed Leo's DSLR to take photos of the insects. I haven't used a DSLR in quite a while and I'm sure my camera know hows have already rusted - but I'm glad to have taken the photos below, they're quite interesting. With a slow shutter speed, the motion blur dance of the moths registered nicely resembling light feathers floating against a dark blue backdrop.

Beautiful as they may seem in the photos above, they are quite disgusting to look at against an unromantic backdrop, as can be seen in the photo below. There was a yellow bucket filled with water, apparently to lure the moths and drown them.
Flowers? Look again. It's like a heap of drowned moth corpses and dismembered wings floating around. Disgusting.

Disregarding the moths, the food at Leslie's were Pinoy favorites ranging from sisig, barbecues, crispy pata and many others. Our group decided to go unhealthy and got Leslie's Bulalo, an order of Lechon Kawali, Tuna Sisig and Pinakbet. Apparently, I was the most unhealthy of all, relishing on the beef and pork fats of our orders - and not touching any of the vegetables. The luxury of being young. Below are our photos enjoying our food.

What I loved most was that we can keep having our soup refilled, and we did that a couple of times - even had it changed because a few departed moths have crashed into our soup, swimming aimlessly like meat fat on the warm yummy soup. Death by bulalo. A few moths have also drowned in our drinking waters, or have landed briefly on our plates - to our great dismay.

The highlight of our evening was seeing ex-actor and newly elected Quezon City mayor, Herbert Bautista across the table. It took a while for us to gather our thoughts if a photo with him would be worth it, and with a good flip of a coin whether we should go through it, I took the initiative of asking him for a photograph - and kindly, he obliged us.

We all look the same, he said. I'm not really sure what he meant by that.

After dinner, we headed to Starbucks for a good warm drink before heading back to Manila. Of course, if you've been to a Starbucks store, you've generally seen them all - so there is nothing very unusual with their branch here. It always has been about the company you're with that matters anyway.
Heading back to the parking lot, a glorious white moon hung above us and we found it absolutely imperative to have a quick photo session with the backdrop. You don't get to see that in Manila often.
We arrived in Manila at 2.30 in the morning, everyone a bit tired from the outing. I felt fulfilled though. A long pending Tagaytay trip in my to-do list can now be canceled off. Looking forward to the next adventure.

Photos were taken using Leo's SLR camera, and grabbed from his Tagaytay trip album.


Left with my boredom on a Saturday night, I found myself busying over a new pair of customized shoes (while the rest of my siblings and friends were out watching Iron Man 2) - pouring my ennui and thoughts into my latest to-be masterpiece. I completed Cosmopolitan on May 4, 2010 in the quiet comforts of my room - the fifth in my customized shoe collection.

Cosmopolitan is generally a hodgepodge of modern day luxuries and amenities that are relatively consistent in many parts of the globe - somewhat an interpretation of the modern day culture (or so I'd like to believe). It is a product of brainlessly browsing through a friend's Singapore-Malaysia trip album, and suddenly having a spark of inspiration from some of the photos he archived there. Yes, boredom can be surprisingly inspiring.

Honestly, when I began work on the said pair, I was feeling a bit disappointed how it was taking shape. Using the basic colors of red and blue, I couldn't help thinking about Spiderman - and I was seriously considering painting over the whole doodle and making an entirely new design. Thankfully though, with a few more colors, my distaste subsided and the pair turned out pretty well.

Although Cosmopolitan has been completed over a month ago, it is only now that I found time to photograph and document it here.

For more photos of Cosmopolitan, click here.