First Modeling Gimmick

I wouldn't have agreed had my boyfriend not given me a thumbs-up Go signal.

His sister owns an online shop in multiply called Pinay en Kikay and needed someone to model the clothes for her so her customers could visualize the fitting of the dress on an actual human, as compared to a mannequin.

Her online store sells a variety of fashion related products from Maxi dresses, Kimonos, Hair Bands, Belts and Accessories.

To be honest, I never really prided myself in having a good figure. I always thought of myself as chubby, being big-boned. My friends, who are also generally Asian, sport a slimmer and more petite body that I would often feel like the bloated little klutz. In addition, I never really had much of a flair in front of the camera - being tomboyish since high school, I've never got accustomed to doing vivacious poses, nor had I gained confidence in being such. To top it all, it was the first time I wore a tube top (or to be more specific, a strapless bra).



His sister was most supportive and helpful despite my amateur performance. I did try my best though, but it's apparent in the pictures that I still a lot yet to learn. Oh well.

My mom has always told me that my body required a bigger coverage and I am often accused of looking slutty or over the top for wearing anything slightly higher than the knee, or slightly lower than the collar bone, or anything that wraps and emphasized my bust line - it came to a point that I felt suffocated by my options. My mother would often buy me clothes that are always one to two sizes larger than I am, that my friends would often tease me for looking grandmotherly or pregnant. I understand she means well by her fashion choices, but it has been a great detriment to my self esteem and confidence.

I guess this may have also added to the anxiety and caution I felt during our modeling session. But I would like to express thanks to my boyfriend's sister and my boyfriend though for allowing me to experience it, at least once, for it had inspired me that I am not as limited with my clothing options. My friends, who have viewed the pictures mentioned that it did look flattering to my figure and I should try to explore my fashion choices more. By limiting myself to my regular wardrobe, I am also limiting my ability to express myself, my thoughts to others.

For modesty's sake, I begged her to chop my head off. I'm not yet that proud of myself.