Let's not be hypocrites, no matter how pretty we are (whether or not you believe it), sometimes we don't feel as pretty as we ought to be. An unflattering camera angle can highlight or hide one's human flaws and since photographs usually bear big memory-lane weights, we want to make sure that the picture either goes unnoticed, gets forgotten or gets fixed. With modern technology, your prayers have been answered.
I saw this earlier while surfing online. More reason not to patronize those Barbie magazine cover girls.
Vanity. Vanity. Vanity.
Of course, aside from the fact that I have to make sure my hair's not a mess when my picture is being taken.. I'd have to think about the pose. Yup, summer's just about here and that means - outings, which means - pictures! So I surfed more and found this! haha
03 March 2009
02 March 2009
Dogs. Rabies. Money.
Dogs are man's best friends, but that is only after their anti-rabies vaccination. Unless you have almost 10,000 pesos to spare, don't get bitten by a dog.
Yesterday, trying to intercede two of our fighting dogs, my sister was accidentally bitten on her arm. There wasn't any blood, no grave visible injuries, just a small mark of its teeth on her skin. We brought her to several hospitals which pointed us to San Lazaro hospital - a government hospital that specializes in animal bites.
According to my dad, being bitten by a dog under the waist would mean a week-long incubation period for the rabies disease to manifest. While a bite above the waist would mean that the person has less than a day to find treatment else would have higher chances of going bonkers and dying on that same day.
Another trivia to know: the rabies virus is smaller than a dot on a piece of paper or a pinhole, which means even the most harmless looking bite can prove fatal - so unless the dog has been vaccinated, you are going to be splurging on your treatments for the next month. Aside from paying for an expensive ERIG treatment, PVRV and some anti-tetanus, you'd have to return to the hospital four more PVRV shots to make your system immune to the virus for a year or two. The doctor will be providing a schedule when the patient has to go back for her next shot - follow it religiously because missing one shot on the prescribed date means going back and starting from the beginning. Is it costly? read the first line of this post.
A last pointer which I learned - you can actually try to ask the doctor if the prescription for the patient can be halfed, compared to purchasing a full vial - then you can find someone who'd be willing to share the other half with you in order to save some money. A full vial though is recommended especially if the dog can no longer be traced or has died, as a safety measure - so keep in mind what the dog looks like, and if it would be possible, try to keep an eye on the dog that bit you until you finish your shots - according to my gramps, once the dog goes crazy, you're bound to go rabid soon after.
Can we tell if the dog has rabies? You can bring it to a center to have it tested. If it's positive, the answer is yes. If it's negative, it can be a false negative. Do the math. So you have to still go through the treatment? As if you have a choice.
An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Have your dogs vaccinated with anti-rabies as soon as possible rather than go through all these unnecessary processes we have to go through now.
Yesterday, trying to intercede two of our fighting dogs, my sister was accidentally bitten on her arm. There wasn't any blood, no grave visible injuries, just a small mark of its teeth on her skin. We brought her to several hospitals which pointed us to San Lazaro hospital - a government hospital that specializes in animal bites.
According to my dad, being bitten by a dog under the waist would mean a week-long incubation period for the rabies disease to manifest. While a bite above the waist would mean that the person has less than a day to find treatment else would have higher chances of going bonkers and dying on that same day.
Another trivia to know: the rabies virus is smaller than a dot on a piece of paper or a pinhole, which means even the most harmless looking bite can prove fatal - so unless the dog has been vaccinated, you are going to be splurging on your treatments for the next month. Aside from paying for an expensive ERIG treatment, PVRV and some anti-tetanus, you'd have to return to the hospital four more PVRV shots to make your system immune to the virus for a year or two. The doctor will be providing a schedule when the patient has to go back for her next shot - follow it religiously because missing one shot on the prescribed date means going back and starting from the beginning. Is it costly? read the first line of this post.
A last pointer which I learned - you can actually try to ask the doctor if the prescription for the patient can be halfed, compared to purchasing a full vial - then you can find someone who'd be willing to share the other half with you in order to save some money. A full vial though is recommended especially if the dog can no longer be traced or has died, as a safety measure - so keep in mind what the dog looks like, and if it would be possible, try to keep an eye on the dog that bit you until you finish your shots - according to my gramps, once the dog goes crazy, you're bound to go rabid soon after.
Can we tell if the dog has rabies? You can bring it to a center to have it tested. If it's positive, the answer is yes. If it's negative, it can be a false negative. Do the math. So you have to still go through the treatment? As if you have a choice.
An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Have your dogs vaccinated with anti-rabies as soon as possible rather than go through all these unnecessary processes we have to go through now.
01 March 2009
Going Back to Nature
Back in third year high school, I was using an ointment for my pimples - it's a Chinese whitening for-external-use ointment that's supposed to help clear up my face and give me a more oriental beauty glow given to me by my grandma. Because I was so desperate to get the pimples off my face, I layered the ointment onto my skin and the result? My skin got burned. The ointment kind of made big red spots on my face which lasted for weeks, that was more horrendous than just a constellation of pimples.
What did I do during that time? My grandma suggested I try using egg whites onto my face everyday to heal it, she also told me not to use the ointment for the time being. She used the same ointment every night, but kept it as thin as possible onto her face. I am not sure if the egg whites really helped, but it sure did make my face feel tightened.
On other occasions, when my face was already back to normal, she would suggest combining egg whites with calamansi and use it like a facial-slash-toner since I was complaining that Eskinol really stings my skin and dries it up.
Earlier this year, I found a friend selling organic products in her online site, called Earthly Delights, and was intrigued. She guarantees that her products are 100% ORGANIC, 100% PHILIPPINE INGREDIENTS and 100% NO HARMFUL CHEMICALS. Our family was always a big fan of organic stuff - from organic rice to organic eggs to organic I-don't-know, so I took the liberty of purchasing some of her items. By some I mean - organic shampoo, facial wash, toner, night and day treatment, lotion, etc.
Pictures were lifted from Earthly delights site and was slightly Photoshop-ed.
I tried most of the products I bought, a couple of nights ago and I attest with an extremely big grin on my face that - they work. I got the egg white and aloe vera shampoo and tried on my dry, brittle hair (yes, my shampoo right now are just those recycled hotel shampoos from my grandparents' many trips abroad - so you can imagine). It resulted to a softer and fuller head, a result similar to the time I tried to put mayonnaise on my hair but without the irritating mayo smell or the oiliness that goes with it.
I also tried the Calendula facial, then Tomato toner, followed by Royal Jelly (Day or Night), and I am really impressed and can really boast that it made my skin feel so much softer. It does give a feeling of refreshment too.
My happiness meter is full with regards to my purchase. Definitely a good buy, not to mention, they're pretty cheap too! :D Why harm oneself with chemical concoctions and weird unheard of acids and bases when natural products are available at reachable prices? Just saying.
*UPDATE: I tried to pry a little more and learned that the products are from a group called Human Heart Nature. This said group is spearheaded by the daughters of Gawad Kalinga's Tony Meloto and is geared towards making this world a better place through patriotism and environmentalism by selling and distributing organic products.
What did I do during that time? My grandma suggested I try using egg whites onto my face everyday to heal it, she also told me not to use the ointment for the time being. She used the same ointment every night, but kept it as thin as possible onto her face. I am not sure if the egg whites really helped, but it sure did make my face feel tightened.
On other occasions, when my face was already back to normal, she would suggest combining egg whites with calamansi and use it like a facial-slash-toner since I was complaining that Eskinol really stings my skin and dries it up.
Earlier this year, I found a friend selling organic products in her online site, called Earthly Delights, and was intrigued. She guarantees that her products are 100% ORGANIC, 100% PHILIPPINE INGREDIENTS and 100% NO HARMFUL CHEMICALS. Our family was always a big fan of organic stuff - from organic rice to organic eggs to organic I-don't-know, so I took the liberty of purchasing some of her items. By some I mean - organic shampoo, facial wash, toner, night and day treatment, lotion, etc.
Pictures were lifted from Earthly delights site and was slightly Photoshop-ed.
I tried most of the products I bought, a couple of nights ago and I attest with an extremely big grin on my face that - they work. I got the egg white and aloe vera shampoo and tried on my dry, brittle hair (yes, my shampoo right now are just those recycled hotel shampoos from my grandparents' many trips abroad - so you can imagine). It resulted to a softer and fuller head, a result similar to the time I tried to put mayonnaise on my hair but without the irritating mayo smell or the oiliness that goes with it.
I also tried the Calendula facial, then Tomato toner, followed by Royal Jelly (Day or Night), and I am really impressed and can really boast that it made my skin feel so much softer. It does give a feeling of refreshment too.
My happiness meter is full with regards to my purchase. Definitely a good buy, not to mention, they're pretty cheap too! :D Why harm oneself with chemical concoctions and weird unheard of acids and bases when natural products are available at reachable prices? Just saying.
*UPDATE: I tried to pry a little more and learned that the products are from a group called Human Heart Nature. This said group is spearheaded by the daughters of Gawad Kalinga's Tony Meloto and is geared towards making this world a better place through patriotism and environmentalism by selling and distributing organic products.
28 February 2009
Summer of 2009
It's going to be a beach-filled summer!
Summer is just a few more days away, and my friends and I are already planning our next outing. Finally, we were able to make reservations at La Luz Beach Resort - a beach we've been meaning to go to, or if not, a beach I've been nagging to go to for almost two years ever since I read this - just perfect, no "rude oglers". This year, I'm doing most of the planning parts and I think I've done a successful job of getting everyone's approval and chaining them to that conviction because of the 50% down payment required by the said resort for the reservation.
Pictures were lifted from the La Luz Beach Resort site and Photoshop-ed a little bit.
(Please note, it took me practically forever to make a reservation at this resort - for some reason their customer service is a little slow - irritated me that I was following up on their responses via email, text and even by calling - the first two garnered no response, although they claimed to have replied.. twice!)
The next big question after reserving the beach is the bathing suit. After my boyfriend's rather expensive attempt to make me wear a bikini, I finally learned to find the inner bikini body in me and actually feel comfortable in wearing one - provided that it gives me the support and coverage that I need. Post my grandmother's demise, our family has been banned from wearing yellows and reds in the next 2 years - so my boyfriend's red hot Victoria Secret bikini would have to stay in the closet for that time. Not to be held back, I took the initiative of actually trying to look for a bikini myself.
Surfing online, I found Cocotini Bikinis and absolutely fell desperately in love with her collection. The additional details most definitely add to the overall appeal of the bikini. Compared to the many non-descript swimwear I've been finding online, which generally showcase the same cuts with just a variety of printed patterns, Cocotini has added some embellishments and features that make the products stand out and not look like just-another-bikini.
Pictures were lifted from the Cocotini Bikinis site and Photoshop-ed a little bit.
To cut the story short, I sent a PM detailing my inquiries. I think I was so desperate, not to mention, so eager to get the bikinis, that I think I checked my multiply every other hour just to check if there was already a reply. :D
We finally agreed to meet at her place last Thursday, after my work, so I can fit her swimwear since I have a rather hefty top and might not fit in the general Large for Asians. The owner was so kind to me the whole time, as she showed the tops that she thinks would suit my size. She even taught me the proper ways of wearing and caring for a bikini. What happened? I bought two bikinis for only 1,200 php (Well, one two piece and the other, just the top). I think that was a rather good deal, don't you think? Well my boyfriend gave me his two thumbs up for my purchase.
Overall, it was absolutely a five star buy for me and I couldn't wait to show it off to my friends in our definite summer outing at the end of the month.
*giddy with excitement!
Summer is just a few more days away, and my friends and I are already planning our next outing. Finally, we were able to make reservations at La Luz Beach Resort - a beach we've been meaning to go to, or if not, a beach I've been nagging to go to for almost two years ever since I read this - just perfect, no "rude oglers". This year, I'm doing most of the planning parts and I think I've done a successful job of getting everyone's approval and chaining them to that conviction because of the 50% down payment required by the said resort for the reservation.
Pictures were lifted from the La Luz Beach Resort site and Photoshop-ed a little bit.
(Please note, it took me practically forever to make a reservation at this resort - for some reason their customer service is a little slow - irritated me that I was following up on their responses via email, text and even by calling - the first two garnered no response, although they claimed to have replied.. twice!)
The next big question after reserving the beach is the bathing suit. After my boyfriend's rather expensive attempt to make me wear a bikini, I finally learned to find the inner bikini body in me and actually feel comfortable in wearing one - provided that it gives me the support and coverage that I need. Post my grandmother's demise, our family has been banned from wearing yellows and reds in the next 2 years - so my boyfriend's red hot Victoria Secret bikini would have to stay in the closet for that time. Not to be held back, I took the initiative of actually trying to look for a bikini myself.
Surfing online, I found Cocotini Bikinis and absolutely fell desperately in love with her collection. The additional details most definitely add to the overall appeal of the bikini. Compared to the many non-descript swimwear I've been finding online, which generally showcase the same cuts with just a variety of printed patterns, Cocotini has added some embellishments and features that make the products stand out and not look like just-another-bikini.
Pictures were lifted from the Cocotini Bikinis site and Photoshop-ed a little bit.
To cut the story short, I sent a PM detailing my inquiries. I think I was so desperate, not to mention, so eager to get the bikinis, that I think I checked my multiply every other hour just to check if there was already a reply. :D
We finally agreed to meet at her place last Thursday, after my work, so I can fit her swimwear since I have a rather hefty top and might not fit in the general Large for Asians. The owner was so kind to me the whole time, as she showed the tops that she thinks would suit my size. She even taught me the proper ways of wearing and caring for a bikini. What happened? I bought two bikinis for only 1,200 php (Well, one two piece and the other, just the top). I think that was a rather good deal, don't you think? Well my boyfriend gave me his two thumbs up for my purchase.
Overall, it was absolutely a five star buy for me and I couldn't wait to show it off to my friends in our definite summer outing at the end of the month.
*giddy with excitement!
12 February 2009
Crossroad
A week ago, I went to a nearby eye clinic and had my eyes checked. I observed that I was experiencing awful headaches, vertigo and a difficulty in focusing my eyes. Through the test, I learned that I have already incurred eye damage - near-sightedness. Due to this, I feel compelled to revamp my current lifestyle of being in front of the computer over 15 hours a day.
Today, perhaps paired with the lack of sufficient rest and sleep, I am experiencing the same throbs in the head and a slight hint of nausea as I battle the computer screen. Yes, I've already reduced the screen brightness to almost nothing but I cannot deny how much it still pains my eyes.
I have no intention of compromising my health to this degree, as my eyesight is one of my favored pride and asset - needing to wear corrective glasses is a very regretful thing for me, indeed. I am asserting myself to increase my Vitamin A intake and improve my diet, as I've noticeably become wider in the past few months. I don't know how I can squeeze in more rest into my schedule, but I will strive to find the best possible way to do just that. Physically, aside from a substantial weight gain, people notice that I am usually haggard, aged and tired - exhibiting irritability, fatigue and a general lack of enthusiasm.
Are my earnings a good enough reason to be enduring this? After my back pain a couple of weeks ago, I've come to thinking that my lifestyle these past five months is slowly depriving me of my life, and is, quite frankly, killing me. Something must be done, and that something must be done soon.
I really do hope everything would turn out alright.
Today, perhaps paired with the lack of sufficient rest and sleep, I am experiencing the same throbs in the head and a slight hint of nausea as I battle the computer screen. Yes, I've already reduced the screen brightness to almost nothing but I cannot deny how much it still pains my eyes.
I have no intention of compromising my health to this degree, as my eyesight is one of my favored pride and asset - needing to wear corrective glasses is a very regretful thing for me, indeed. I am asserting myself to increase my Vitamin A intake and improve my diet, as I've noticeably become wider in the past few months. I don't know how I can squeeze in more rest into my schedule, but I will strive to find the best possible way to do just that. Physically, aside from a substantial weight gain, people notice that I am usually haggard, aged and tired - exhibiting irritability, fatigue and a general lack of enthusiasm.
Are my earnings a good enough reason to be enduring this? After my back pain a couple of weeks ago, I've come to thinking that my lifestyle these past five months is slowly depriving me of my life, and is, quite frankly, killing me. Something must be done, and that something must be done soon.
I really do hope everything would turn out alright.
11 February 2009
Too Much Bacon
This lunch, I challenged myself with a Wendy's Baconator, a sinful pack of calories and fat paired up with some deep-fried french fries and a glass of Sprite - truly I can imagine it whacking my whole system with all it's juicy lard. Processed pigs and cows held together with white mayonnaise and a couple of buns.
I wasn't able to finish my burger in one, even two seatings - it lasted me the whole day just to completely consume the whole burger - a serious slap to a girl who used to pride herself for her seemingly insatiable appetite. My current lifestyle is depriving me of my daily food intake and has already weakened my buffet bonanza powers.
And right after finally overcoming this gigantic feat, I get to click onto this site from a work mate's YM status.. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the "Bacon Explosion Pork Bomb Barbecue Recipe" by the BBQ Pit Boys.
You must admit, that bacon weave looks mighty tasty.
That's why heart disease is the leading killer of mankind - but at least you die happy.
I wasn't able to finish my burger in one, even two seatings - it lasted me the whole day just to completely consume the whole burger - a serious slap to a girl who used to pride herself for her seemingly insatiable appetite. My current lifestyle is depriving me of my daily food intake and has already weakened my buffet bonanza powers.
And right after finally overcoming this gigantic feat, I get to click onto this site from a work mate's YM status.. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the "Bacon Explosion Pork Bomb Barbecue Recipe" by the BBQ Pit Boys.
You must admit, that bacon weave looks mighty tasty.
That's why heart disease is the leading killer of mankind - but at least you die happy.
08 January 2009
My Problem with Semi-Pro Camera Users
Yesterday, I met up with a good college buddy. He happened to be in the vicinity and had requested for some company. Having not seen him in what seemed like ages, I met up him and had some drinks in the Powerbooks coffee section of Greenbelt. He was in Glorietta covering a Honda event for one of his part-time jobs. Being an avid car lover and photography enthusiast, he has combined the two hobbies into a profitable sideline. In the course of the conversation, he had mentioned how competitive the photography profession is especially with the current surge of demand for professional cameras.
Admittedly, back in college, while I was taking up my Communication Arts course, I used to go crazy over photography, putting it up on the pedestal as one of the professions I hope to pursue. Beknownst to me, the world was gradually seeing the photography in the same light and those who can afford it have invested at the very least, a semi-professional cameras, which they proudly and quite boastfully bring to major events.
I had no problems with this until one of my uncles brought his semi-professional camera to my great grandmother's funeral last year. For some reason, I felt offended at how he kept taking pictures as the people wept around the casket and walked behind the black funeral car with the dirge playing old Chinese favorites. He felt so impersonal that I realized how detached he appeared to be - like he wasn't present to mourn the loss of his grandmother, but seems to be either showing off his expensive camera and making keepsakes of his outstanding angles. I doubt a funeral is something you'd like to plaster all over your family album.
With the digitalization of photography, people can take pictures for granted - no longer worried about wasting good film or a blurred shot. Pictures can quickly be seen, assessed, erased, and plugged into a computer for editing. It's because of this hassle-free technology that people are drawn to it - to an irritating point that you hear everyone boasting about angles and blurs and apertures - that it makes you wonder if they have any idea what they are really talking about.
I am not sure if this is a form of sourgraping, but I know I don't like trends very much - they just ruin the fun when you know everyone's doing it. But... honestly, seeing flighty kids my age and sometimes even older use these semi-professional cameras to show off or just to camwhore is really irritating.
Now, having sufficient money to buy myself one - I am sitting in the middle feeling extremely hesitant it would be a worthwhile investment.
Admittedly, back in college, while I was taking up my Communication Arts course, I used to go crazy over photography, putting it up on the pedestal as one of the professions I hope to pursue. Beknownst to me, the world was gradually seeing the photography in the same light and those who can afford it have invested at the very least, a semi-professional cameras, which they proudly and quite boastfully bring to major events.
I had no problems with this until one of my uncles brought his semi-professional camera to my great grandmother's funeral last year. For some reason, I felt offended at how he kept taking pictures as the people wept around the casket and walked behind the black funeral car with the dirge playing old Chinese favorites. He felt so impersonal that I realized how detached he appeared to be - like he wasn't present to mourn the loss of his grandmother, but seems to be either showing off his expensive camera and making keepsakes of his outstanding angles. I doubt a funeral is something you'd like to plaster all over your family album.
With the digitalization of photography, people can take pictures for granted - no longer worried about wasting good film or a blurred shot. Pictures can quickly be seen, assessed, erased, and plugged into a computer for editing. It's because of this hassle-free technology that people are drawn to it - to an irritating point that you hear everyone boasting about angles and blurs and apertures - that it makes you wonder if they have any idea what they are really talking about.
I am not sure if this is a form of sourgraping, but I know I don't like trends very much - they just ruin the fun when you know everyone's doing it. But... honestly, seeing flighty kids my age and sometimes even older use these semi-professional cameras to show off or just to camwhore is really irritating.
Now, having sufficient money to buy myself one - I am sitting in the middle feeling extremely hesitant it would be a worthwhile investment.
Starting a Personal Customized Shoe Collection
During the Christmas break, my dad had us all wake up early in the morning to do some jogging/ walking. Our grandfather also joins us in these dawn treks around our neighborhood in order to improve his blood circulation. Due to this, it has come to our attention that I don't have any more functional rubber shoes. They are either of the wrong color, or at the verge of being put to the grave. By the wrong color, I mean that it has bright vibrant colors, which I or my siblings are not allowed to wear.
Following Chinese tradition, once a family member moves on to their next life, we would have to go through a period of mourning. During these times, bright colors, reds and yellows are forbidden in the next two years. I had to pack away almost all of my good clothes in a big suitcase, not to be touched until the mourning period has elapsed.
Going to back to my story, since I don't have any rubber shoes, I decided to buy a pair of cheap Advan canvas shoes and customize it to my own liking. A pair costs around 200 pesos. This is what I finished.
For bigger images, check them out in my multiply site. I entitled it "Butterfly", in loving memory of my late grandmother. It is believed that the spirit of departed beloved returns to us in the form of a butterfly.
After seeing what I finished, my mom and a couple more friends felt that it would be wasteful for me to wear it and have it all dirtied up. My boyfriend suggested that I start a collection - buy another pair of Advan and continue producing these customized shoes, keep the nice ones and wear the not-so-interesting pairs. Sounds like a pretty outrageous thing, but it's pretty cool, thinking you have your own collection of customized shoes. I can also probably consider this for my next Christmas give-away. :)
Following Chinese tradition, once a family member moves on to their next life, we would have to go through a period of mourning. During these times, bright colors, reds and yellows are forbidden in the next two years. I had to pack away almost all of my good clothes in a big suitcase, not to be touched until the mourning period has elapsed.
Going to back to my story, since I don't have any rubber shoes, I decided to buy a pair of cheap Advan canvas shoes and customize it to my own liking. A pair costs around 200 pesos. This is what I finished.
For bigger images, check them out in my multiply site. I entitled it "Butterfly", in loving memory of my late grandmother. It is believed that the spirit of departed beloved returns to us in the form of a butterfly.
After seeing what I finished, my mom and a couple more friends felt that it would be wasteful for me to wear it and have it all dirtied up. My boyfriend suggested that I start a collection - buy another pair of Advan and continue producing these customized shoes, keep the nice ones and wear the not-so-interesting pairs. Sounds like a pretty outrageous thing, but it's pretty cool, thinking you have your own collection of customized shoes. I can also probably consider this for my next Christmas give-away. :)
17 December 2008
Mocha and Frap
Last Saturday, my ever pet-loving sister brought home two little rascals into our lives. She had found them in the market and had begged my mom to buy them. The old woman who was said to be selling them needed the money badly and therefore sold the new born pups of their bitch - there were three puppies, actually, but mom only bought two - a white male and a brown female.
When they got home, I was really surprised to learn about the acquisition and much more, at the fact, that my sister didn't have anything planned for the newcomers - there was no bed, no food, really no plans at all. She didn't even inquire about their age. Thankfully, dad, despite not being an animal lover, knows a couple of things about dogs and claimed that the puppies were roughly a month and a half or 6 weeks old, which was later confirmed by the vet. I took it upon myself to provide for the little puppies - taking into account that this might as well be a lesson in responsibility. My first purchases for them are their puppy dog food, their milk, some baby bottles and a very comfortable bed. I think the excitement has gotten to me, as I'm practically throwing my money away for these little babies.
I wanted to name them Ninja and April or Figaro, but the family settled for Mocha and Frap, in honor of my little sister's favorite Starbucks drink. Frap, the male, was assigned to me, since my sister wanted to be taking care of the girl. Only after the family commended Frap to resemble a Japanese Spitz did she regret her decision. My brothers, on the other hand, like the regular males they are, acted generally apathetic towards the puppies and would visit them only to entertain themselves.
I brought them to the vet last Monday for B-complex shots to improve their immune system. The rest of their shots will follow in the weeks to come.
A friend once told me that you know you are ready to have a baby when you can take care of a dog. I think he's right. They're a lot of work.
When they got home, I was really surprised to learn about the acquisition and much more, at the fact, that my sister didn't have anything planned for the newcomers - there was no bed, no food, really no plans at all. She didn't even inquire about their age. Thankfully, dad, despite not being an animal lover, knows a couple of things about dogs and claimed that the puppies were roughly a month and a half or 6 weeks old, which was later confirmed by the vet. I took it upon myself to provide for the little puppies - taking into account that this might as well be a lesson in responsibility. My first purchases for them are their puppy dog food, their milk, some baby bottles and a very comfortable bed. I think the excitement has gotten to me, as I'm practically throwing my money away for these little babies.
I wanted to name them Ninja and April or Figaro, but the family settled for Mocha and Frap, in honor of my little sister's favorite Starbucks drink. Frap, the male, was assigned to me, since my sister wanted to be taking care of the girl. Only after the family commended Frap to resemble a Japanese Spitz did she regret her decision. My brothers, on the other hand, like the regular males they are, acted generally apathetic towards the puppies and would visit them only to entertain themselves.
I brought them to the vet last Monday for B-complex shots to improve their immune system. The rest of their shots will follow in the weeks to come.
A friend once told me that you know you are ready to have a baby when you can take care of a dog. I think he's right. They're a lot of work.
16 December 2008
Animal Lover?
Today, I was able to chat with a college group mate. She is one of the more precocious and out of the ordinary characters I remember in college. During the course of our conversation, our topic shifted to her convictions of being a vegan. She has now started an online store called Kitchen Revolution selling vegan pastries - desserts that don't have eggs, dairy products or meat to enforce her stand against animal cruelty.
I confess that since I was child, I have been a picky eater and would barely find any interest in vegetables. My father, on the other hand, due to a vow made to Buddha has converted to being a vegetarian with the hope of Buddha curing my grandmother of her cancer.
My dad used to joke, you can't say you're an animal lover and be omnivorous. My friend reiterated, "Would you eat animals you love? You can't say you love animals and eat meat. You can say you love dogs and cats, but eat cows and chickens and pigs." Then she sent me this video. It's pretty hard core stuff, so for those who have weak stomachs, I do not recommend viewing the said video. The video documents some of the tactics being used by cattle, poultry and pig farmers on their animals, all of which transcends what is humane and decent. Truly an eye opener - especially for someone like me, seeing a pig bleed to death so I can have a hot yummy plate of crispy maple bacon on the table.
Now, I'm seriously contemplating shifting to more animal friendly viands. To be honest, I feel repulsed at the fact that these people can act like your next door Mister Roger and be slaughtering these poor animals in such despicable, base ways. For more information about animal cruelty and how to be a vegan, just go to this link.
As an ending to this little campaign against animal cruelty, I'd like to post a video my little sister found in YouTube that really made our hearts bleed.
It's a sad sad reality. Mad world.
I confess that since I was child, I have been a picky eater and would barely find any interest in vegetables. My father, on the other hand, due to a vow made to Buddha has converted to being a vegetarian with the hope of Buddha curing my grandmother of her cancer.
My dad used to joke, you can't say you're an animal lover and be omnivorous. My friend reiterated, "Would you eat animals you love? You can't say you love animals and eat meat. You can say you love dogs and cats, but eat cows and chickens and pigs." Then she sent me this video. It's pretty hard core stuff, so for those who have weak stomachs, I do not recommend viewing the said video. The video documents some of the tactics being used by cattle, poultry and pig farmers on their animals, all of which transcends what is humane and decent. Truly an eye opener - especially for someone like me, seeing a pig bleed to death so I can have a hot yummy plate of crispy maple bacon on the table.
Now, I'm seriously contemplating shifting to more animal friendly viands. To be honest, I feel repulsed at the fact that these people can act like your next door Mister Roger and be slaughtering these poor animals in such despicable, base ways. For more information about animal cruelty and how to be a vegan, just go to this link.
As an ending to this little campaign against animal cruelty, I'd like to post a video my little sister found in YouTube that really made our hearts bleed.
It's a sad sad reality. Mad world.
11 December 2008
Emo Lambchops
Emo Lambchop helps me feel better.
I wish they have more shows like this than mind numbing Spongebob Squarepants, Cow and Chicken and all those other brainless shows. I wonder what kind of education my kids will end up getting from television if networks continue producing these garbage.
I wish they have more shows like this than mind numbing Spongebob Squarepants, Cow and Chicken and all those other brainless shows. I wonder what kind of education my kids will end up getting from television if networks continue producing these garbage.
Sharp Turn
Staring at her corpse or her funeral picture didn't leave me any sense of comfort. They were definitely a far cry from the animated woman she was when she was still alive. It was so cruel seeing her lying on the casket, unresponsive - completely departed from this busy, action filled reality we live in. Stiffened and cold and fading. This drastic change has left me at a lost, this reality still seems so difficult to fathom, difficult to swallow. Everyday I want to sit in front of my computer and type away my feelings, but I find myself indulging in less emotional activities avoiding any recollection lest it would leave me teary eyed at work.
Everything feels so surreal. Businesses continue to run and profit or dwindle in losses, people continue going to work, cars still honk away and overtake each other on the road, parties still take place, people still chatter away aimlessly in restaurants and coffee shops, while my world stopped - indefinitely - it feels like the fabric of my life has moved on to a completely different texture. It is not the same anymore. The world feels so cold and apathetic, and even words and gestures of condolence cannot amount to any form of satisfaction or relief - my life has taken a sharp turn and all I feel supposed to do is bear with it.
She had lived a good life, I keep telling myself and the memories we've shared will always remain etched in my heart. She had been an inspiration to me, and most of my decisions especially of late were chosen primarily for her appreciation. I've always feared these times, praying that God would delay this event to a later time. I wonder if he really heard my pleas. I have begged Him to take care of her, and give her strength.
My grandmother passed away last November 25, 2008 due to complications. Suffering from lymphoma since 2004, her diligence and perseverance has credited her an extra 4 years of life. We all thought she had succeeded over her illness - her will was beyond belief, her threshold for pain was remarkable. She'd overcome her pain without complaining, living with her ordeal patiently. Nobody anticipated that her life would end this abruptly.
I won't be elaborating on the details of this particular story, only that she was my strength and one of my best friends. I miss her so dearly.
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Almost 5 years ago, I went on a China tour with my grandparents. One night, while my grandfather was out with his friends for a walk, I was left in the hotel room with my grandmother. She was tired from the day's walking and has decided to retire.
Our hotel room was a spacious area with two beds. My grandparents would sleep on one bed and I was assigned the other. As I lie in my bed, waiting for sleepiness to creep in, I had this sudden fear in my heart. I cannot fathom a life losing my grandparents, more so, my grandmother. Innocently, I asked my grandmother if I can sleep with her on her bed. Knowing I'm such a coward especially in the dark, she allowed me. I climbed onto her bed and laid down. I listened to her breathing as she slowly succumbed to sleep, then with her back onto mine, I hugged her from behind. She didn't stir, she didn't say anything, but I know she was still awake. I was so glad she didn't turn to look at me, because I remember that I was crying. After I felt relieved, I released my hug, and then fell asleep.
23 November 2008
I Am Depressed
It is becoming more frequent now. At this particular moment, I can only sense my loneliness, and the cunning shadow of depression folding its dark arms around me, giving me the comfort I can never find in anybody else. Although I do not want to admit it full heartedly, I believe that I am already struggling with bouts of depression - of which I believe I am fully responsible for. I have no right to point a finger at anybody else but myself for what I am currently experiencing, and yet it seems so much easier to lay down all the things that people have done to me to have caused me this tremendous grief and pain. Reason-wise, it is only I who translated these situations into sadness, and I know I can see situations in a rosier setting, but I stubbornly refuse to.
The line between my reason and emotions is slowly becoming alarmingly blurred, and I find myself struggling with emotional fits that I never had to deal with in the past. My reasons tend to be distorted by my feelings and it is really disturbing as I am beginning to lose the trust of my friends - most of all, I am losing my trust in myself. I cannot explain why I cry so often, why I feel like stabbing myself and wishing I'd just fade away into nothingness. I am supposed to be way past teenage emo-ness and exaggerations, and yet, here I am wishing I'd disappear so I can pinpoint the people who have really placed value and worth in who I am.
The world does not revolve around me. I am aware of that, but at the same time, I cannot understand why my emotions cannot understand that. It controls my thoughts at times that I end up shutting down from everything and everyone. My emotions are laden with pride and I struggle everyday to overcome that. My obsession with minute details is becoming overwhelming, and has somehow also taken over my life. I am bothered by trivial matters, things that shouldn't necessarily be heeded. The menial fact that someone didn't ask to be photographed with me, whilst she did with the rest of the group, ideally shouldn't bother me as much as it does. The fact that everybody's name is listed in her group of friends and my name was absent shouldn't be a reason to doubt our friendship - but right now, it does. The simple fact that someone had to do something else whilst I had quite a traumatic episode to talk about shouldn't mean it would erase her concern - but for a while, it felt dramatically that way. Heaven knows how much these details mean to me right now - and it's driving me crazy and making me such an obnoxious individual.
This afternoon, my eyes were swollen struggling with my pride and my lack of self-esteem. Ironic that these two would have to mix in my person. Sometimes I wish I can be like normal people who does not feel boxed into a set of ideals, but I feel lost without these ideals. As much as I'd like to be liberated, I find comfort in knowing my direction and it pains me to have to lose sight of where I want to be.
Artists are usually labeled as misunderstood mavericks, defending themselves and their art to many unbelievers and critics - trying to stand a name for themselves, trying to prove their vision. Artists struggle with bouts of depression because nobody can enter their realm of thought, and they have to overcome their loneliness by themselves. They are castrated from society because most of the time, their ideals and lifestyles are far too radical for the usual everyday lay man. I feel that castration, and it is tangible, and I feel it crushing my insides.
I wish I can bleed everything I feel, and feel everything I bleed. I know there are some who take efforts in comprehending me, giving me advice and the like, and I know they've often called me stubborn. One who doesn't listen. I credit them for pointing that out, but sometimes I just don't need advice, I just want someone who'd listen to me just rant, rant, rant and bitch out. I also want to be needed, because apparently, I don't feel as wanted as I hope I should be (then again, it is my pride). I want to be able to need someone, and depend on them constantly and consistently. If I can have an inflatable buddy, or an invisible friend who'd always be present whenever needed, that would be fantastic - unfortunately, for human friends that is not exactly feasible.
I guess this entry is a confession of my weakness, because being human I am entitled to my faults. This is a very selfish entry and I am sure whoever is reading this may find me irritating, confusing and hard headed. I respect that. This entry is not meant to explain, it is my tool to communicate my current state and feelings, which may not even be relevant after a few hours. I won't be reviewing this as it is a product of pure emotions. I just feel utterly depressed right now and I just want to share what I feel. I need to get over this soon.
The line between my reason and emotions is slowly becoming alarmingly blurred, and I find myself struggling with emotional fits that I never had to deal with in the past. My reasons tend to be distorted by my feelings and it is really disturbing as I am beginning to lose the trust of my friends - most of all, I am losing my trust in myself. I cannot explain why I cry so often, why I feel like stabbing myself and wishing I'd just fade away into nothingness. I am supposed to be way past teenage emo-ness and exaggerations, and yet, here I am wishing I'd disappear so I can pinpoint the people who have really placed value and worth in who I am.
The world does not revolve around me. I am aware of that, but at the same time, I cannot understand why my emotions cannot understand that. It controls my thoughts at times that I end up shutting down from everything and everyone. My emotions are laden with pride and I struggle everyday to overcome that. My obsession with minute details is becoming overwhelming, and has somehow also taken over my life. I am bothered by trivial matters, things that shouldn't necessarily be heeded. The menial fact that someone didn't ask to be photographed with me, whilst she did with the rest of the group, ideally shouldn't bother me as much as it does. The fact that everybody's name is listed in her group of friends and my name was absent shouldn't be a reason to doubt our friendship - but right now, it does. The simple fact that someone had to do something else whilst I had quite a traumatic episode to talk about shouldn't mean it would erase her concern - but for a while, it felt dramatically that way. Heaven knows how much these details mean to me right now - and it's driving me crazy and making me such an obnoxious individual.
This afternoon, my eyes were swollen struggling with my pride and my lack of self-esteem. Ironic that these two would have to mix in my person. Sometimes I wish I can be like normal people who does not feel boxed into a set of ideals, but I feel lost without these ideals. As much as I'd like to be liberated, I find comfort in knowing my direction and it pains me to have to lose sight of where I want to be.
Artists are usually labeled as misunderstood mavericks, defending themselves and their art to many unbelievers and critics - trying to stand a name for themselves, trying to prove their vision. Artists struggle with bouts of depression because nobody can enter their realm of thought, and they have to overcome their loneliness by themselves. They are castrated from society because most of the time, their ideals and lifestyles are far too radical for the usual everyday lay man. I feel that castration, and it is tangible, and I feel it crushing my insides.
I wish I can bleed everything I feel, and feel everything I bleed. I know there are some who take efforts in comprehending me, giving me advice and the like, and I know they've often called me stubborn. One who doesn't listen. I credit them for pointing that out, but sometimes I just don't need advice, I just want someone who'd listen to me just rant, rant, rant and bitch out. I also want to be needed, because apparently, I don't feel as wanted as I hope I should be (then again, it is my pride). I want to be able to need someone, and depend on them constantly and consistently. If I can have an inflatable buddy, or an invisible friend who'd always be present whenever needed, that would be fantastic - unfortunately, for human friends that is not exactly feasible.
I guess this entry is a confession of my weakness, because being human I am entitled to my faults. This is a very selfish entry and I am sure whoever is reading this may find me irritating, confusing and hard headed. I respect that. This entry is not meant to explain, it is my tool to communicate my current state and feelings, which may not even be relevant after a few hours. I won't be reviewing this as it is a product of pure emotions. I just feel utterly depressed right now and I just want to share what I feel. I need to get over this soon.
22 November 2008
Colorgenics
I found this quiz called Colorgenics, from one of my friends' blog.
You are supposed to pick a bunch of colors according to what's in tune with your preferences, by your selections, the site will come up with a personality description that best describes you. I think the results are pretty accurate with what I am currently dealing with.
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You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.
You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.
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I guess this spells out my relationship issues, my lack of self-esteem and overall pessimism with what I can become.
You are supposed to pick a bunch of colors according to what's in tune with your preferences, by your selections, the site will come up with a personality description that best describes you. I think the results are pretty accurate with what I am currently dealing with.
------------------
You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
Being emotionally inhibited you have no alternative at this time but to be a 'watcher' rather than a 'doer'. At this time you feel as if you are being forced to compromise and stand back. But this is not the true you. Deep down there is that warm 'open' you which is awaiting the moment to burst forth - maybe like the chrysalis which will soon become the butterfly.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all. The existing situation is not of your liking - you have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of 'total surrender'. This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome. You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able to maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence 'you need to be needed' and at the same time 'you need to need'.
You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.
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I guess this spells out my relationship issues, my lack of self-esteem and overall pessimism with what I can become.
20 November 2008
Extremely Rattled
I feel rattled. And it's not the coffee.
Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life and even at this very moment I can still feel tears welling up my eyes and fear running through my bones. Yesterday, the workmate I usually ride the train home with had taken a leave, so I was on my own.
The train going towards my destination was on the other side of the street, therefore I had to climb and cross the bridge above the train depot. As I was passing, I noticed there was a man walking in front of me, and two girls walking towards us. Most notably, there was a dirty, lean man standing in the middle of the bridge. He appeared deranged and exhibited not an ounce of respectability. He climbed up the railing and hung his himself upside down on the ceiling pipes. He was definitely retarded and I guessed it's best not to pay him any attention as I passed by so he'd return the favor and ignore me as well. Apparently, the plan didn't work.
As I crossed in front of him, I heard him call. I am not sure who he was calling, but I felt I was in no position to be concerned about it - I continued walking. I can hear him getting off the pipe, he continued calling. I cannot decipher what he was saying, all I can understand was that he appeared to be calling someone. I have passed the two girls walking towards us, and discerned that they would have to deal with the retarded man, but I can hear the man still pacing towards my direction. I was utterly frightened with this thought and have doubled my pace, overtaking the man in front of me. If the mad man would be chasing us, he would have to go through the man before reaching me. I made a sharp angle towards the stairway - convincing myself that the security guards of the train station would be there, inspecting bags.
Going down the stairs, I can still hear the man calling and shouting. His voice seemed nearer, and my heart raced furiously up my throat. I told myself that running may agitate the man, but my pace wasn't doing me any good. Going down those stairs felt frustratingly like the longest minute of my life. It felt that the lunatic had ignored the man I overtook and was really going after me. I never bothered to look back to confirm my suspicions. I jumped off the last few steps, my legs were unsteady and shaky. I never felt more relieved to be in front of the security guard.
A man informed the security that the crazy man was on the floor and the security guard promptly shouted at the insane man, who continued calling and shouting. I never looked. I never saw the man I overtook. All I know was that the crazed man was on the same floor as I was. Something must have happened, must have clicked, must have stimulated him to follow us.. or to articulate more accurately what I feel, follow me.
Even after I've passed the security inspection, I can hear him make a big fuss over at the station. It felt like he was calling to me. I was so relieved to be on the other side. My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I inserted my ticket into the machine to get into the waiting area. My heartbeat was thumping really fast as I reached for my cellphone to call my best friend. I was so scared.
In the train, I began counting the many things that I was thankful for. I was thankful that I wore my sister's sandals rather than my painful heels, thus was able to move faster. I was thankful that I was wearing my scapular. I was thankful that there were people with me on that bridge (quite curiously, I had felt that something wrong might happen on that bridge just a week ago). I was thankful that I wasn't as frightened as to piss on my pants. I was thankful that I am now safe and alive.
I don't know what could have happened and I don't want to confirm my fears.
I spoke with a guy friend when I got home and I never realized how scared I was until I felt myself tearing up and crying. I don't know what triggered that man to start chasing and I don't want to find out by victimizing myself again. I hope that situation would reoccur.
P.S. Please don't tell me this is a Bitoy's funniest moment prank, 'cause if it is, I'd really punch the guy in the face.
Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life and even at this very moment I can still feel tears welling up my eyes and fear running through my bones. Yesterday, the workmate I usually ride the train home with had taken a leave, so I was on my own.
The train going towards my destination was on the other side of the street, therefore I had to climb and cross the bridge above the train depot. As I was passing, I noticed there was a man walking in front of me, and two girls walking towards us. Most notably, there was a dirty, lean man standing in the middle of the bridge. He appeared deranged and exhibited not an ounce of respectability. He climbed up the railing and hung his himself upside down on the ceiling pipes. He was definitely retarded and I guessed it's best not to pay him any attention as I passed by so he'd return the favor and ignore me as well. Apparently, the plan didn't work.
As I crossed in front of him, I heard him call. I am not sure who he was calling, but I felt I was in no position to be concerned about it - I continued walking. I can hear him getting off the pipe, he continued calling. I cannot decipher what he was saying, all I can understand was that he appeared to be calling someone. I have passed the two girls walking towards us, and discerned that they would have to deal with the retarded man, but I can hear the man still pacing towards my direction. I was utterly frightened with this thought and have doubled my pace, overtaking the man in front of me. If the mad man would be chasing us, he would have to go through the man before reaching me. I made a sharp angle towards the stairway - convincing myself that the security guards of the train station would be there, inspecting bags.
Going down the stairs, I can still hear the man calling and shouting. His voice seemed nearer, and my heart raced furiously up my throat. I told myself that running may agitate the man, but my pace wasn't doing me any good. Going down those stairs felt frustratingly like the longest minute of my life. It felt that the lunatic had ignored the man I overtook and was really going after me. I never bothered to look back to confirm my suspicions. I jumped off the last few steps, my legs were unsteady and shaky. I never felt more relieved to be in front of the security guard.
A man informed the security that the crazy man was on the floor and the security guard promptly shouted at the insane man, who continued calling and shouting. I never looked. I never saw the man I overtook. All I know was that the crazed man was on the same floor as I was. Something must have happened, must have clicked, must have stimulated him to follow us.. or to articulate more accurately what I feel, follow me.
Even after I've passed the security inspection, I can hear him make a big fuss over at the station. It felt like he was calling to me. I was so relieved to be on the other side. My hands were shaking uncontrollably as I inserted my ticket into the machine to get into the waiting area. My heartbeat was thumping really fast as I reached for my cellphone to call my best friend. I was so scared.
In the train, I began counting the many things that I was thankful for. I was thankful that I wore my sister's sandals rather than my painful heels, thus was able to move faster. I was thankful that I was wearing my scapular. I was thankful that there were people with me on that bridge (quite curiously, I had felt that something wrong might happen on that bridge just a week ago). I was thankful that I wasn't as frightened as to piss on my pants. I was thankful that I am now safe and alive.
I don't know what could have happened and I don't want to confirm my fears.
I spoke with a guy friend when I got home and I never realized how scared I was until I felt myself tearing up and crying. I don't know what triggered that man to start chasing and I don't want to find out by victimizing myself again. I hope that situation would reoccur.
P.S. Please don't tell me this is a Bitoy's funniest moment prank, 'cause if it is, I'd really punch the guy in the face.
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